Claytoonz: Juneteenth is for every American

I visited my local watering hole last week and the regular creepster
was in the joint. This is a guy who seems harmless but he kinda freaks
everyone out, because he’s creepy. There’s just something off about the
guy. He seems kinda stalkerish and he makes the female bartender very
uncomfortable. Hell, he makes me uncomfortable.

I wasn’t paying any attention to him and after he left, the bartender
told me he was griping about Juneteenth and how it shouldn’t be a
holiday. It must have went like, “Check, please…and I hate Juneteenth.” I
was sorry I missed that comment as I would have inquired why he thinks
Juneteenth shouldn’t be a holiday…and then perhaps I would have kicked
him in the goober.

No, I’m not violent. I would have only metaphorically kicked him in
the goober. Maybe his reasons would be that we don’t need two
Independence Days or that it shouldn’t be a holiday because it doesn’t
apply to everyone. One of the reasons many Republicans gave for voting
to make it a federal holiday is that it’s a financial burden to give
federal employees another paid day off. That is a weird complaint coming
from the party that increased our deficit by over $17 trillion in the
Trump years. Ugh.

We should have two Independence Days since the first one, July 4, the
signing of the Declaration of Independence in 1776, did not give
independence to every American, just the white ones. The closest we came
to a day of independence for everyone before President Biden made
Juneteenth our 11th federal holiday was the movie where Will Smith, Jeff
Goldblum, and Bill Pullman saved us from aliens too stupid to install
Norton. Goldblum also saved us from dinosaurs at least three times.
Maybe he should have a federal holiday. The only thing Jeff Goldblum
hasn’t done is find Matt Damon, who’s had to be rescued in at least
eight movies (Courage Under Fire, Saving Private Ryan, Titan A.E, Syriana, Green Zone, Elysium, Interstellar, and The Martian, all at an estimated cost of over $900 billion).

Juneteenth was the day in 1865 that slaves in Texas discovered the
Civil War was over. This occurred about a month after the war ended and
nearly two years after Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation. It
still takes a while for real news to reach Texas, like they’re not free
to secede, Obama is NOT invading them, or Ted Cruz is a scaly
Reptilian-humanoid-type thing that probably eats babies so you
shouldn’t vote for it. If you happen to run across a Texan, let him
know. Eventually, June 19 became recognized as a day of independence for
Black Americans. What’s wrong with that?

Martin Luther King Jr Day is not just a holiday for Black Americans
because civil rights should be important for all of us. While Juneteenth
is mostly celebrated by Black Americans, it should be recognized and
appreciated by every American. It’s good to live in a country that
doesn’t have legal slavery… Right? Right? Besides, we have two holidays
for veterans in addition to commemorating other days like December 7 and
June 6.

As for the argument that not everyone celebrates Juneteenth, it’s the
same for Christmas. While the majority of this nation is Christian,
over 30 percent aren’t. I don’t have a problem saying “Merry Christmas”
to people, but on the day itself, I order Chinese food just like my
Jewish friends do. The entire week before December 25, I struggle to
think about anything other than the kung pao chicken coming my way.

Here’s the deal, white people. Not everything is about you. Not
everything is for you. As some people have pointed out, equality is not
pie. Giving Black Americans a holiday doesn’t take any of your holidays
away from you. There will not be less Christmas and on that day, you
will still get pie, unless you’re in a Gary Varvel cartoon
where brown people climb into your window and steal your holiday food
(actually Thanksgiving, but work with me, people). But if you’re a Black
person in a Mike Lester cartoon, you will get some fried chicken.

What I don’t get is that people, like the Creepster, are publicly
announcing that they don’t like Juneteenth. It’s weird how passionate
people are about their hate. Nobody asked the Creepster for his opinion
on Juneteenth. Oddly enough, he was expressing his racism in a
restaurant where 90 percent of the staff is non-white. Go figure.

As for me, I’m going to Washington, DC on Juneteenth because I want to see how it’s celebrated.